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To Wait

by Shaun

I’ve discovered... while I enjoy change, I don’t like waiting. Some people don’t like change, but I’ve always found it exciting and fun, like the improv game where you’re in a scene and then someone yells “freeze” and tells you that you’re now in a new scene, and “go.”  It’s electrifying! One minute “you’re Lebron James shooting a jumpshot,” and then you freeze mid-shot and become “a blade of grass trying out for American Grass Idol” (or something like that).

I like the change in that game, but I wouldn’t want to stand there frozen for very long. I’d get tired and impatient and I’d just want to be moving, either following through on the jumpshot or belting out Hendrix’s “The Wind Cries Mary” in front of the grass judges. And the thrilling, deep satisfaction in acting is that you really dive in and unleash all you’ve got into that one character or that one moment. I think it just feels good to give everything, no matter what you’re actually doing.

Some people don’t like change, but I don’t know anyone who likes to wait. 

Yet, that’s what I’m doing right now. I just turned in my second application to the Literature and Environment program at the University of Nevada, Reno. And now, we wait. Which isn’t all that new, I’ve sort of been waiting since June of 2008. I waited to apply, applied in Jan. 2009 and then I got rejected and have waited to apply again. But I think it’s starting to wear on me now.

The wear isn’t really from a need to necessarily get in (though, that’s what we’re aiming for here!). The wear has been the waiting to know what I can give myself to next. I’ve spent a year and half in a sort of limbo and I’m ready to get out.

In the improve game, I was “doing ministry with kids and families” and I called FREEZE on myself ... and the crowd (the world, the Man, me, whoever) is still talking over what my next role will be. Somebody needs to call something out and say “Go!”

And I’ll be that embarrassing blade of grass, I really don’t care. I just want to be.

On a practical note, I think I’ll know something within the month. Then I can break a leg.

My Paper, in Wordle

by Shaun

My first, article-length paper for the literary nonfiction class I'm taking this semester - on the link between Loren Eiseley and Wendell Berry.  I needed a representation other than the 15 pages...

School, the Day 2 saga

by Shaun

It was only the second day of school and I already almost didn't make it to class!  I took my sweet time this morning, having coffee and reading blogs (specifically, Wet Behind the Ears by Julie McQuitty Rhodes).  Then I go to pump up my bike tire (front tire desperate for it - unrideable without it), and there's a problem.  Something with the tire valving was not allowing any air to get in there.  Crap!  I've got about 5 minutes within which I need to be on the bike and headed west on Cheney St!  

I fooled with it a bit, but then gave up on the bike and jumped online to check the bus schedule - we have 2 different route stops nearby.  I find the schedule, Crap!  It only comes by on the hour and will come by at perhaps the worst possible time.  I would be 15 minutes late to class if I took the bus.  But, who cares, it's my only option.  Okay, I need some bus money.... oh, Crap!  We got no cash here!  I mean, I find like 30 cents, that's it.  That's not going to work.  "Crap" is turning into, well, you know...

I contemplated dropping the course and just walking to starbucks to take the edge off.  I could get my registration money back and by a Wii or somethin'.  Then, I remembered -- Kyndra's bike!  It's an okay size and has good tires on it.  It's yellow and all, but hey, I got no qualms with that.  As long as it gets me there on time.

Suffice it to say, I had to fish it out from the basement, dragging it up the back stairs while trying to move the awkward "stair roof" thing with the rusty nails out of the way.  Come over sometime and I'll show you!  It was also a grueling task.  But, I was on the road in time - that's what matters.

In the end, I rode hard and made it to class with 3 minutes to go.  Not bad!  Of course, my face was tomato red, I was sweating like the Chip N' Dales SNL version of Chris Farley, and trying hard to keep the breathing under some semblance of steady control.  I think I pulled it off; I mean, I didn't pass out.  

Really though, the class chatted about Annie Dillard, and the tiger of my back-in-school excitement  was fed a healthy, literary snack.  The registration fees are worth it, I think.  And I guess in the process of learning new things at school, I'll ALSO be learning more and more about what makes my bike work!  At the least, I'll find a way to keep the tires inflated.

"When I go biking, I repeat a mantra of the day's sensations:  bright sun, blue sky, warm breeze, blue jay's call, ice melting and so on.  This helps me transcend the traffic, ignore the clamorings of work, leave all the mind theaters behind and focus on nature instead.  I still must abide by the rules of the road, of biking, of gravity.  But I am mentally far away from civilization.  The world is breaking someone else's heart."  

~Diane Ackerman

So it begins.

by Shaun

Tomorrow I head to campus and to my first class at UNR.  I think it will feel good to finally begin doing the thing that brought us across the country, to this place and time in life.  I've already learned a lot out here, but school will bring a different kind of knowing and experience.  I plan to enjoy, savor, and celebrate every day I have in class - so hold me to it!  There shall be no complaining about the assignments or the readings or getting flats on my bike ride to & from school!  :)
Upon my beginning, I hear a warning from Kurt Vonnegut,

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. "

I'm thankful to begin grad school; I won't take the opportunity lightly and, heaven help me, I'm resigned to get wiser from it!

Noodle Arms

by Kyndra

I have finished 2 weeks of my internship, and now I have 10 more to go ... not that I'm counting or anything! The first week was fabulous. I met so many nice people on the therapy staff. I enjoyed observing my instructing OT treat patients and explain to me the reasoning behind it all. It was a great start to something that I had been anxious about for a very long time.

The second week was a roller-coaster for me. I began feeling overwhelmed by all that there is to learn with all the different diagnosis, hospital procedures, and OT treatments. It became too much for me, and I started getting really down on myself. Then, I decided that spending as much time worrying and fretting as I was ... was exhausting. So, I chose to go in with a positive mindset and take one patient at a time.

I have two instructing OT's that split me half the week like a child of divorced parents. The rules and the "way of doing things" are very different between the two of them! I observe most of the first week with Instructor #1 and she spends a lot of our time explaining, training and answering my questions. I get out of doing treatments and evaluations when I show slight hesitancy. ;)
Instructor #2 is the type that stays true to the occupational therapy motto, "Learn by doing." He essentially throws me in the deep end, as the saying goes. I'm the type that could sit back for 12 weeks and observe and be happy as a clam. I am so uncomfortable jumping in and trying things for the first time ... I like to know what I am doing, I don't like to mess up, and I am very hard on myself when I do. I've had to learn to be kind to myself more than any other time in my life. This internship is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but each day, as I do more and try things, I gain confidence. The confidence feels really good, even though I have a long way to go!

 “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

- Eleanor Roosevelt
(of course Eleanor would say this ... she is my fav!)

Instructor #2 has been including me in his treatment sessions with patients. Usually, he takes the patients that are very involved and lets me eval/treat the patients with less complications. (So ... maybe he's not as hard-nosed as I described!) But, with his patients, I climb in the bed and support (which often times means hold) them up as they sit at the edge of the bed for treatment, which usually lasts about 30-40 minutes. I have pretty wimpy arms, so I am getting a serious workout each day! It's the end of week 2 and I am pooped ... and my arms feel like noodles.

Walking the Labyrinth

by Kyndra

I was so excited to find a labyrinth garden a couple of weeks ago at Rancho San Rafael Park here in Reno. The labyrinth holds a special memory from occupational therapy school ...

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The first week of OT school was really exciting and a little scary. But when we had our first class with Mrs. Fletcher (rated one of the favorite OT professors by many students, including me), she had us sharing our lives and interests with each other through clay/molding and other creative arts. She also took us on a field trip to a nearby church with a labyrinth. I had never walked a labyrinth and had no idea what it was. It turned out to be one of the most meaningful and unforgettable experiences of my life. As I walked the labyrinth in Dallas in my first week of OT school in late summer of 2006, I reflected on my journey to that day. I had gone through nursing school, decided it wasn't for me, chose to pursue child life, then discovered the wonderful world of occupational therapy in that process and decided to go for grad school. I felt pleased with my journey and was happy to be where I was at.
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Sunday evening, Shaun and I walked the labyrinth at Rancho San Rafael, as I was feeling a little anxious about my internship (that started the next day, Monday).

Now, in summer 2008, OT school is completed and I find myself anxious about beginning fieldwork where I have to put to use all that information I spent 2 years learning. I was frightened, worried, excited, and hopeful about the internship. I walked the labyrinth, and again reflected on my journey to that day. I was proud of every choice I made. I thought of the wonderful friends I made through the years of nursing, child life, and OT school. I thought about the challenging moments of OT school such as speaking at Celebration of Scholarship about my research, and about the projects I spent hours on, and the group projects that pushed my last nerves. I looked back, and I was grateful for every experience I had, and realized that everything up to that point had prepared me for the one step I would make toward my future the next morning.

As I walked, I was calmed by realizing that I am like a flower ... a bud right now ... a bud that yearns to be open and beautiful, but knows that blooming is a process - it is slow and takes time, with small gain each day. I was also calmed knowing that God would go with me. I asked how I would know. The answer was, "you will see me in the people."  That made me smile.
I was relieved. 
I'm only two days into it, but my fieldwork so far has been a great time!

Celebrations!

We had two great things to celebrate around the Ohome recently.
One was Kyndra's birthday last week - April 30th!  I think we had some fun, just taking time to hang out together and enjoy some down time.  I know that she deeply appreciated her friends at school and how they took time to celebrate her.  Then we had some delicious pizza and wine at Olivella's at University Park in Dallas.  It was a beautiful night all around.

And a few days before that, Kyndra presented at TWU's Annual Celebration of Scholarship.  She and her partner Kacey had worked hard on research about the occupation of care givers in end of life care, and  it was a great opportunity to share new info with other students and teachers and Therapists there. 
Kyndra's family and her good friend Media (and her husband Darrell) from past work came to cheer her on.  And it all went great - we are all PROUD ... and we all can look at Kyndra differently now.  It's hard to know what really goes on in classes and in studying up at school; her presentation is a testimony to great work for the past 3 semesters!  What a way to begin wrapping up her studies.  Way to Go Kyndra!!

       

Happy Hour Blog

[by kyndra]
I just finished my "Midterm Madness," as Shaun called it. And ... it was MADNESS! I only had 3 midterms this semester compared to up to 7 (yes 7) in semesters past. But this round was quite a doozie! I have an incredible professor, who is brilliant, and has been teaching since before I was born! It seems though that she has had more than 25 years to perfect the most impossible tests. She expects a lot out of us, which makes it hard, but I'm sure worth it in the end.
So, I am really looking forward to my 2 internships, which will be in RENO, NEVADA!! I will begin my first in late June at the medical center there. My 2nd begins in September at a private clinic that uses an inter-generational approach by combining their adult and child day care programs. I have been interested in this type of approach since my undergraduate studies in family dynamics and child development. There is so much to learn and experience when we move, and I am anticipating an exciting, adventurous year ahead. I am most excited for Shaun. He loves school and anyone who knows him well, knows that he loves to read and learn. He has an amazing mind, and I can't wait for him to be in a place where he can spend all of his time invested in learning about the environment and literature. It will be wonderful to see where this upcoming path leads us!

ps. Here are some pics of me putting OT training to work.  First is us in a lab, using  a Nintendo Wii as therapuetic activity for people with spinal cord injuries.  The second pic is me pretending I have a C7 SCI and trying to put pants on ... not so easy people!

Lately Listening - Emergent and other leaders

I've been bad at blogging recently.  sorry.  Pretty busy little season at work(s), and keeping a finger in a few different things going on.  This year has really flown by.

Recently, I've been to 3 different events - all "churchy," all encouraging, and all giving me hope for the future of American Christian leadership.
Event 1:
Emergence in Austin - a conference featuring Scot McKnight as moderator to a panel of church leaders - reflecting thoughts contributed in a recent Zondervan book - Listening to the Beliefs of Emerging Churches. 
The idea of the book was quite good, as each contributor got to write a chapter on a certain topic, and all other contributors offered a short reflection/rebuttal/extension of that topic thereafter.  I have flipped through it and I like the style.  There are definitely some opposing views on theology and praxis, but it's a good discussion for the most part. 
And that's what I'd say for this conference.  Scot McKnight led well.  The banter was both dense and funny, and McKnight is good at that.  John Burke had gracious answers (held at his church - Gateway), and Doug Pagitt was able to offer some new ideas and views, telling stories to connect the ideas along the way.  Doug was humble and positive towards other "demonstrations" of Christianity and I think that might have helped many listen harder (and offer more grace) as he expounded on the way his faith community lives out their theology as best they can.  I was encouraged to sense this perspective and grace from another Emergent leader.  I think that means a lot as the conversation goes forward.  (good review by Bob Carlton here)

Okay - speeding along --

Event 2:
A week ago Brian McLaren came to SMU as a Lecture speaker on Evangelism.   This was a day of some straightforward McLaren - therefore, I enjoyed it very much.  He also exudes a humility that simply draws me in to listen and learn.  I continuously feel challenged to think hard and live better when I listen to Brian.  And an especially neat part of this event was the way he wove in certain Methodist theological tendencies to what he presented.  Not being Methodist, I feel like I learned a lot while I got to see him validate the faith of so many in the room.  While "postmodernism" can seem so scary, he helped explain cultural shifts with the words and beliefs of John Wesley, and I felt that made a difference in the room. 
Brian took hard questions during a Q & A, but was gracious.  Some questions seemed like the same ones he's been hearing for years, while some were just plain challenging (perhaps a bit stubborn).  And I liked a key point Brian made, referring to Matthew 7, and citing - "Do not judge, lest you also be judged."  Brian posed, perhaps we could also phrase it - "Do not vilify, and you will not be vilified."  I admire Brian's desire to do theology and work against vilification at the same time.
I look forward to seeing Brian in DFW again in Feb. on the tour of his book - Everything Must Change.

Event 3:
Rob Bell @ Nokia Theatre - here's a pic I took -I know some people thought this sounded too showy, Bell "performing" at Nokia, and I know some people who just plain didn't go as to not support the "show."  But I gotta say it was a great experience.  Bell got up there and talked - teaching/monologue for a good hour and 1/2.  It felt sorta classical in that sense - sitting under a good orator - basically offering an "anthropology of religion."  That's an evening well spent.  There was nothing flashy about it - a stage with an ancient-style altar; it was a great mix of message and method.  While Nokia is a rather large stage (literally and symbolically), I like this format for theological oration and hope to see more going forward.

All in all, I'm glad to be listening to some of these leaders.  It has lately given me hope.  I hope you have some as well. 
Happy Thanksgiving!

Healing Environments 2

by Kyndra

As I mentioned before, I volunteered at the Healing Environments Conference at Baylor. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was banking on it to be a great experience from the raving reviews I had heard from my fellow OT classmates who went last year.
The conference focused on complimentary and alternative medication (buzz word: CAM). This approach to treatment recognizes that the body has a certain capacity to heal itself. The CAM is used to compliment that process and also used with conventional types of treatment. CAM encompasses many modalities, such as eastern medicine (acupuncture, martial arts, meditation, etc.), osteopathy, homeopathy aromatherapy, therapeutic massage, etc. These types of treatments are growing in popularity and some are found to have significant healing effects on the body (i.e. acupuncture).

I went to a session on Tai Chi (Tai Chi for Health led by Sifu Chris Bouguyon), and I found it very intriguing. I hear the words “Tai Chi” all the time, but have never known what it is or even really cared enough to find out. I think I’ve had some sort of mental block with all the martial arts ... but I definitely learned that I am interested in this type of activity now!

I really feel quite inadequate to attempt to explain Tai Chi, but I will share what I took away from my one hour session today.

“The origins of Tai Chi date back some 3000 years ago to a form exercise called Qigong (translation: “energy work”). It was developed to help relieve aches and pains associated with working in the field all day, and became very popular. These exercises have evolved through the centuries, and are now an integral part of Chinese Medical System’s preventative maintenance programs.  There are many types of Tai Chi styles, and one particular called “Yang” focuses on healing. Martial arts movements in this style are softened to allow the healing properties to be more fully expressed.”

Tai Chi (and all martial arts) recognize that the mind, body, and spirit are connected. Of course, I knew this and normally read through this “connection” because I think I understand it. But in this session, we spent time exploring what this connection really meant. I was surprised at how powerful this connection is when I actually sat and reflected on it’s pervasiveness in our lives. This connection is especially evident in people who have experienced a major health transition, or any major life transition for that matter. Think about how when you have physical aches and pains ... how does it affect your mind/thoughts ... how does it affect your spirit/heart? When your spirit/heart is  hurting ... what state is your mind in ... what does your physical posture look like? It is frighteningly connected!

So here’s my rundown on Tai Chi ... eastern medicine has found that the body has 12 meridians running down the body. Certain points on the body are connected to each other and to major organs through these meridian pathways. Tai Chi movements are designed to take you through full functional range of motion at all your joints, and to open up these critical points on the meridians. This allows the healing properties to be more fully expressed. Very cool. Your whole body is engaged in the movement, specifically the core as you maintain stable posture during the various “forms” of movement. This is particularly a therapeutic activity for people who have a deteriorating health condition because 20% of the body is working and 80% is relaxed. Tai Chi helps with strengthening, coordination, muscle control, and proper body alignment.

Well ... after learning about Tai Chi and participating in it myself, I now understand the meaning and benefit. I’ve seen some movies (maybe The Last Samurai) where all the men are out on the grass going through slow, deliberate motions, looks a little bit like a dance. I think that is Tai Chi! I always thought it was strange before, but now I think it is wonderful!

What I love so much about this and will take away with me, is the mind-body-spirit connection. Sifu Chris also emphasized the importance of “smiling with your heart,” breathing, and focusing on movements. He said this is critical in Tai Chi, but it is also critical to anything we are doing in life. It applies. Mind-Body-Spirit.

You can learn so much more from the instructors website: SimplyAware (and maybe attend a few classes!!)

I think this approach to health, life, and exercise really relates to a lot of what Shaun and I have been talking about through the years ...
... being connected to yourself, others, and place
... being deliberate with your choices in life
... being awake and aware to yourself, others, and place